AnchoredThe love chapter, read slowly
In the King James Version, 1 Corinthians 13 says "charity" where most modern translations say "love". It translates the Greek word agape: love that chooses the other person’s good, whether or not it feels like it today.
“Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;”
Try this: read it aloud and put your own name in place of "charity". Stop at the line that is hardest to say honestly, and tell your spouse which one it was.
“Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.”
Try this: tell each other one thing you are hoping for in your marriage this year. "Hopeth all things" is easier when you know what the other is hoping.
“And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.”
Try this: faith, hope and love: ask each other which of the three feels strongest in your marriage right now, and which feels thin.
Love that starts with God
Couples who try to love each other from their own reserves run out. These verses put God’s love first, so that your love for each other has somewhere to come from.
“Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.”
Try this: each name one person whose love for you showed you something about God’s love. Most couples have never asked each other this.
“Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.”
Try this: read it before you apologise after an argument. It reminds you both that love began with the one who did not wait to be loved back.
“But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”
Try this: ask, "Is there a way I can show you love this week without waiting for you to go first?"
“This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.”
Try this: "as I have loved you" sets the measure. Pick one way Jesus loved people (He listened, He served, He forgave) and choose to practise it toward each other tomorrow.
Romantic love in Scripture
The Bible is not shy about desire and delight between a husband and wife. The Song of Solomon is a whole book of it.
“My beloved is mine, and I am his: he feedeth among the lilies.”
Try this: say it to each other, by name. It sounds strange the first time and lovely the second.
“Thou art all fair, my love; there is no spot in thee.”
Try this: each tell the other one thing about them you find beautiful that has nothing to do with how they look.
“Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame.”
Try this: a seal marked something as belonging to someone. Talk about what helps you feel you belong to each other, and what makes you feel less sure.
“And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had to her.”
Try this: remember together a time you waited for each other: before the wedding, through a deployment, a long illness, distance. What made it feel short?
“Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.”
Try this: look at a photo from your first year together and tell each other what you remember rejoicing in then.
Love on the hard days
Feelings of love come and go in every marriage. These verses describe love as something you do, which is good news on the days you do not feel it.
“Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins.”
Try this: is there an old offence one of you keeps bringing back up? Agree, out loud, to cover it rather than stir it.
“For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.”
Try this: ask, "What is one thing I could take off your plate this week?" Then do it without being reminded.
“And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour.”
Try this: "walk in love" is about the ordinary pace of a day. Name the time of day you are least kind to each other (for many couples it is the hour after work) and plan for it.
“My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.”
Try this: each name one "deed" of love from the other that meant more than words would have. You may be surprised which ones they remember.
Love that lasts
“And Ruth said, Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God:”
Try this: Ruth said this to her mother-in-law, not a husband, which makes it a promise about loyalty more than romance. Ask each other what "whither thou goest, I will go" has already cost you, and what it has given you.
“The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.”
Try this: pray it over each other, using your spouse’s name: "Lord, thank You that You have loved ___ with an everlasting love."
“For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Try this: read it on a night when something is frightening you both. Name the fear, then read the verse again: whatever it is, it belongs to "things present" or "things to come".
“Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart:”
Try this: choose one verse from this page and write it somewhere you will both see it: the bathroom mirror, a phone lock screen, the fridge.
A week of love verses together
If you want a simple way to start, take one verse a night for seven nights. Read it aloud, do the "try this", and pray one sentence each.
- Night 1: 1 Corinthians 13:4-5, with your names in it.
- Night 2: 1 John 4:10, about where your love comes from.
- Night 3: Song of Solomon 2:16, said to each other.
- Night 4: Galatians 5:13, and one thing off each other’s plate.
- Night 5: Proverbs 10:12, and one thing you agree to cover.
- Night 6: Genesis 29:20, and a memory of waiting.
- Night 7: Jeremiah 31:3, prayed over each other.
If you would like a longer plan, the 4-week couples Bible study plan spends a whole week on love in practice, and 12 short prayers for couples gives you words for the prayer at the end.
Short love verses for a card or a note
- Song of Solomon 2:16: "My beloved is mine, and I am his."
- 1 Corinthians 13:13: "the greatest of these is charity."
- 1 Corinthians 16:14: "Let all your things be done with charity."
- Ruth 1:16: "whither thou goest, I will go."
- 1 John 4:19: "We love him, because he first loved us."
