AnchoredHow to use these questions
- One at a time. One good conversation beats ten rushed answers.
- Each answer separately first. Write your answers down, then share them. You will both be more honest.
- Listen to understand. The goal is to know your spouse better, not to win.
- End with a short prayer about whatever came up.
“Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:”
Faith and spiritual life
- When have you felt closest to God?
- What is one thing you are praying about right now that I might not know?
- Which Bible passage has meant the most to you, and why?
- How can I pray for you this week?
- What would it look like for us to grow in faith together this year?
- Is there a doubt or question about faith you have been carrying alone?
- What did faith look like in the home you grew up in?
- How do you most like to worship: music, quiet, Scripture, service?
- Where do you sense God leading our family?
- What is one spiritual habit you would like us to start together?
Communication and connection
- When do you feel most heard by me?
- What is something small I do that makes you feel loved?
- Is there anything you have wanted to tell me but have not found the right moment?
- How do you prefer to receive hard news or feedback?
- What is the best conversation we have had recently?
- When you are stressed, what helps most: space, words, or help with something practical?
- What do you wish I asked you about more often?
- How can I tell when you are upset but not saying it?
- What part of your day would you like to share with me more?
- What is one way we could make more time for each other?
Dreams and the future
- Where do you hope we will be in five years?
- What is a dream you have never told anyone?
- What kind of legacy would you like our family to leave?
- If money were no concern, how would you spend your time?
- What adventure would you love for us to take together?
- How do you hope our faith will look when we are old?
- What is one goal you would like my help with?
- What do you want our home to feel like for people who visit?
- How could we serve others together?
- What are you looking forward to most right now?
Conflict and forgiveness
- When we disagree, what do I do that helps, and what makes it harder?
- Is there anything between us that still needs forgiving?
- How do you know when an argument is really over?
- What did you learn about conflict from your parents?
- What is a recent disagreement we handled well?
- How can I make it easier for you to apologize?
- What does "forgiveness" look like to you in practice?
- Is there a topic we avoid because it always becomes an argument?
- What would you like us to do differently the next time we disagree?
- How can we pray together after a hard conversation?
“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”
Gratitude and encouragement
- What is one thing you are thankful for about our marriage?
- When did you last feel proud of me?
- What quality in me do you hope our children (or the people around us) will see?
- What is a memory of us that always makes you smile?
- How have you seen God at work in our relationship?
- What is something I have done this month that you appreciated?
- Which season of our life together has been the sweetest so far?
- What do you admire most about how I handle hard things?
- What is one prayer God has answered for us?
- How can I encourage you better?
Light and fun
- What was your first impression of me?
- What is your favorite date we have ever been on?
- If we had a free Saturday with no plans, what would you want to do?
- What song reminds you of us?
- What is a small tradition you would like us to start?
- What made you laugh this week?
- What would your perfect morning look like?
- Which couple do you admire, and why?
- What is something new you would like us to try together?
- What is your favorite thing about an ordinary day with me?
Make it a daily habit
A list is a good start, but most couples find it hard to keep going on their own. In Anchored, each day pairs one question with a short Bible passage. You each answer privately on your own phone, and your answers unlock together once you have both answered. It takes about five minutes.
